


Anxiety, a conversation

by DragonLover143



Category: Original Work
Genre: Anxiety Disorder, I'm Sorry, Triggers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-06
Updated: 2018-12-06
Packaged: 2019-09-13 02:52:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16884282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DragonLover143/pseuds/DragonLover143
Summary: I was having another conversation about my anxiety with my fiance and I needed to express what was going on in my head. So the parts in quotes were actualy said and the rest is what went on in my head. It's kinda a poem but kinda not I guess.This was typed on my phone so no clue how the formatting will show up! Sorry if it's a long paragraph.If you have anxiety this might trigger you. I am having a good day and just typing this up made me cry. So fair warning.





	Anxiety, a conversation

"Angry and irritated are two very different things" he says.

"For me they look the same." Both make me flinch and worry he will get tired of me and leave.

"I am not going anywhere, not now not ever" he says.

"I know this logically, my anxiety may never fully understand though" 

Mom's Arnt supposed to leave either. But mine dropped me off at the age of 3 and never came back to me. My little mind did not understand why, so the damage was done. 

Friends are supposed to stick around, but they see my anxiety and don't understand why I can be so clingy and so they shake me off and leave after promising they never will. 

So please don't get mad when I flinch or cringe when your only frustrated. Don't raise your voice and then tell me your not yelling. Because even a slightly raised voice sounds like yelling to my ears. To me it is premonitions of your leaving. Forshowdowing to the day you say you have had enough of me.

Logically I know that your only frustrated and we can work through it, but my anxiety does not understand, so my heart starts to race, it gets hard to breath, my eyes tear up and I start to shake. The more I fight it the worse it gets so I just let it run its course and hope that my reaction does not make you more mad, or become the last straw and make you leave. Because while logically I know you love me, but my anxiety is terrified you actualy resent me.


End file.
